is me is really me

shared with him 26 March 2013

Sometime in the distant future…2017’sh

The project is coming to an end and it’s hard to believe it’s been 3-months. Tonight is a small celebration for the end of the project and the hand off to the local team as well as the birthday celebration for a couple of team members. Grabbing the small birthday presents from the desk in the hotel room I have called home off and on for the last 3 months, and every night for the last three weeks and headed to the lobby to have Jose hail a cab for me.

I arrive about thirty minutes after the start and yet it’s already packed. I’m at Sarah’s house who is a local team member married to Chris. “McKenzie!” she smiles widely and rushes over to greet me. “Happy Birthday and Thank You for hosting the party..” looking around “you have a beautiful home, thanks for sharing it.” “Sorry I’m a little late” and then we both burst out laughing since everyone knows I am always 15-minutes late for everything. As Chris came to shake my hand I caught glimpse of a tall figure with broad shoulders, his back turned to me. I couldn’t help staring and when the figure turned, the pooling of my juices confirmed my spidey senses. It was Tom.

Shit. For a moment, my stomach drops & my head starts buzzing as that same spike of lust courses through me straight to my pussy every time I lay eyes on him. When I learned my project team was going to bring me to the east coast, I tried to get out of it. Desperately. While it would be good to be relatively close to my oldest, now a junior in college, it had been over two years since I had seen him and probably eighteen months since we last spoke. It wasn’t acrimonious, it was me. I just couldn’t be only friends with this man that I have lusted for since the moment my body first felt his presence. Over the course of the project I only had to interact with Tom or rather, be in the same meetings with him a handful of times and I deliberately turned down any non work related events for good measure. This was Tom’s side of the world after all and I know I am not strong enough to stop myself from eventually giving in to my desire to get close enough to smell him, see those blue eyes again and possibly touch him. God, what a disaster that would be. As far as I know, none of these people knew of me or that he and I had ever met except maybe once, years ago through work. Maybe. But highly unlikely. And yet, my attraction to him, the lust, the craving never went away and if possible, it was even more torturous and palpable than ever. Except for the occasional meeting of the eyes and one night when we both found ourselves walking to our cars at the same time, I managed to never be alone with him. Oh, not that there was any a question of his restraint. This was all on me.

His eyes meet mine and I can feel my cheeks burn and my pussy twitch from memory. My attraction to Tom was immediate, intense and when it was mutual all those years ago, it was exhilarating to be found desirable by these completely masculine man. That I am still so intensely attracted to him is frustrating, lust making and wanton. Deliciously so. I can’t even begin to count the number of nights I fell asleep in my hotel room with my hands buried deep in my wet folds, recalling every single sexy moment with him. *moan*. I have to catch my breath and steady myself when I realize he is walking towards me and I have seen that determined look in his eyes before. Only this time, there was a smolder I wasn’t prepared for but took comfort in knowing that nothing could possibly happen given such a public event. God it’s been so long McKenzie, and yet my lust appears to not have abated at all.

Nervously I smile (probably like a fucking school girl) and I hold out my hand, I mean, we are strangers so it would be awkward if I launched myself at him, pressing my lips to his, wrapping my arms around him, one hand in his hair and the other touching his face. So no, offering a hand is the most appropriate action. I step forward and extend my hand, déjà vu fill me to that first time we met and just like that time, the handshake is a handshake to any casual observer but the shiver from the pit of my stomach directly to my pussy as we touched was both familiar and intense as ever. *sigh*

The formality of my actions seemed ridiculous and silly all at the same time. Others had joined us and I stepped back, my cheeks and my pussy flaming. Tom was called away and I did my best to focus on the conversation some of the others were having until my pulse slowed enough to allow me to walk towards the food, hoping the swishing of the luna beads buried deep in my pussy can’t be heard. But the arousal continued roiling around in the pit of my stomach. Oh god this is going to be a long night. I wonder how long can I toil around before making my exit I muse to myself.

I hope no one was aware that my panties were wet, naturally.  *Sigh* I’m sure I jumped when I heard the familiar low growl close to my ear “You look flushed”. Crap, no fair, he knows how to play it off, nonchalant and yet there is that devilish dance that his blue eyes are doing. I can’t even mumble out words, just an odd strangled sound to which he interprets as “would you like me to get you a drink?” I can only nod and then blush again when I hear him chuckle as he walks towards the bar.

I can barely meet his eyes when he returns with a bottle of water and a raspberry martini. I say my thanks and head towards another group of people eargerly chatting about the Yankees or the Mets or Jets or some sports team or another. I move about, mingle, do the stuff I am so good at professionally all the while hyper aware that Tom is still somewhere in the building as verified by my taut nipples and clenching pussy. Birthday cake is served and I slip silently out the door, grateful for the chilly air and the silence of the neighborhood. “Has the cab been called or would you like a ride?” “I’m good, drive carefully” I say casually, briefly when he and I both know I want to ask him a million questions, I want to kiss him, I want to be in his presence and I don’t want to know the answers to some of the questions. My attempt at nonchalance only amuses him more. Damn him. “Come on, you have been here for the better part of a month and have been able to avoid me, not draw any attention to yourself. Which I appreciate by the way. But are you really going to leave without talking to me?”

“I. I don’t know what to say. Fine, it would be nice to catch up if you can give me a ride back, I’d appreciate it” The funny thing is, there isn’t any awkwardness, other than my lust but it was an easy conversation as if the two+ years that have passed were merely a pause. I missed him, every damn day and the 20-minute ride seemed to last 5-minutes. Please don’t walk me to my door I think to myself, because I don’t know that I can take the higher road once we enter the hotel. In fact I am sure I won’t be able to. I know I will beg him to stay, talk to me just a while longer. So I head towards the bar. Drink? He asks. Um sure., no, actually I want to put on my jammies and just chill. Fine, you get a beer to go and follow me. Don’t you have to go home? I finally ask. Nope, not for a while. I audibly gasp now what?

He slips into my room and easily walks around, just as he did all of those times before years ago, noticing the way I unpack completely, travel with my old soccer blanket and firm heart shaped pillow. Suddenly he turns and his blue eyes soften and I shiver “McKenzie, do you still lust after me?” “I-well, (sigh) yes. Can I ask why?” chuckling lightly because really there is no denying it and his asking wasn’t arrogant at all, not even cocky. It was merely the question of a former lover asking a woman who he knew very well was totally and completely his at one point.

He turned and his gaze was unreadable and yet familiar and it may have been my mistake but I thought I saw an undercurrent of lust flash and instantly my pussy is wet, my nostrils flared and I swear my ass clenched, eagerly. Oh god, hold it together McKenzie. “Well maybe I’d like to fuck you and film it for us to share and watch whenever we miss one another” “What? But you have never trusted the cloud. You delete your browsing history compulsively, you delete everything…” I’m shut up by his tongue shoved roughly into my mouth and instead of struggling as I thought,  I’m momentarily horrified when I realize I am leaning into him and lifting a leg up to wrap around his waist and draw him closer. As our kiss breaks I can only look up questioningly as I am a bit dizzy and see his blue eyes ferocious in their lust filled state. I could feel the heat from his body and his cock, his delicious cock that I have missed so much is straining against his pants. God, did I do that to him? Is it possible that I can still arouse him the way I am completely wet for him? I hear my voice, lusty, low “yes”

I expected to feel nervous or even high on adrenaline or filled with doubt knowing he was going to see me naked again but all I feel coursing through me is unadulterated desire and lust. Just as I had felt every time I looked at him. “I want to give you what you want McKenzie and in return I will get what I want, which is watching you, take pleasure in me fucking you.”

And with that I met him without pause, both of us closing the distance in a nanosecond. The electricity in the room changed from static and electric to a backdraft of a fire the moment we touched. My skin burning everywhere he touched me, where we touched eachother. His hands were all over me, my hair, my back, my breasts, my calves. Everywhere. Familiar, yet uncertain, soft yet firm. I couldn’t remember anything, why weren’t we long distance lover anymore? I forgot everything but his touch, the touch I have missed, fantasized about so many times since the last time leaving scars in its wake. My body shakes as Tom kisses every inch of me as he removes my clothes. And when he presses his mouth, open, teeth bared into my neck and then my breasts, I cry out, as I cum and can feel my sex drip down my leg. Tom gently pushes me backward on the bed and as he finishes getting undressed I don’t even realize that in my complete and utter lust, I have been touching myself, pumping fingers in and out of my hot quivering center as if I needed to prime myself for him when we both know I am unexplainably wet for him all of the time.

I have so many questions but they can wait. I just need to have him buried deep into me. now. Just as you lean down to kiss me I turn over without a word and I can hear his breath hitch as he realizes that I am rising up on my knees before I drop my cheek against the mattress. Arching my back and pulling my ass cheeks open not only so he can get a view of my wet pussy, glistening in my juices for him, but also of my ass, that since we have known eachother has never been fucked by anyone else but him. I whimper when I feel his strong large hands grip my hips and pulls me back onto his hard cock. No formalities or even a check to see if I am wet enough (we both know I am more than wet). I gasp, just as I did every first time with him and I spread my knees wider and my nipples go taut again as I feel my juices dripping freely from my pussy. “Do you remember the first time I spanked you McKenzie? *Moan* yes is all I can say before crying out as I feel his open palm slap my ass hard and my pussy clenches so suddenly, so tight that Tom gasps as well.

I bury my face in the pillow to muffle my screams as I am dizzy with lust, desire and a carnal appetite that I can’t control. He slaps my ass again and I find my clit with my fingers, hard, hot and when he covers my fingers with his own, pressing my clit even harder , I gyrate against him frantically, like an animal wanting more, more and even more. As if the more he fucks me, draws me in, the more he will be imprinted on me. My body goes limp after that first orgasm. Oh god how I have missed that, that feeling, that breathlessness almost blacking out. Tom is strong and the act of turning me over, when I am prone and almost asleep is as simple as turning a page in a magazine. Suddenly he is kneeling between my legs and his blue eyes are dark, and yet smug, knowing he can still bring me to the edge of the precipice within moments. I can only throw my head back and close my eyes when I feel his tongue slip between my folds to lick me clean and he has to restrain me when he nibbles, literally nibbles on my clit.

He fucks me slowly, watching me from above as I run my own hands over my breasts. Moving them slowly, feeling my skin, relishing in the way it feels alive, alit with desire from this man. Suddenly I have to close my eyes. The gentleness yet openly lustful way he moves about my body takes my breath away. The freedom to be wanton, lustful and just plain old horny, with him, remains a gift and I find myself overcome with emotion. And lust. Pure, unadulterated lust. I arch my back and stretch out my arms, only to giggle when I feel him run his hands from my hips slowly up my body and my outstretched arms to my hands. When he interlaces our fingers I open my eyes and smile and I am confident he knows I am thanking him for this gift. This amazing, fucking gift. I twitch, I quiver I arch my back again to meet his slow thrusts, gasping with each one and when his breath sharpened I was also close to another orgasm.

“You do know I have missed you right? How much I think back to this, fucking you. Fucking your ass and suckling on your nipples as you blush, squirm, cum and cum again?” “You are a silly woman, I have fucking wanted this, to fuck you again and again since I saw your name on the project list. Do you know how many times I have almost pulled into this hotel in order to take you and fuck you into submission?” His words physically shoot right through me, my body responding to him accordingly, on its own as it always has, well before my mind can catch up. I push against him in a frenzy, wild, driven by lust and as he thrusts deeper and deeper I whimper at first and then a silent scream from my very center, when I am spread out underneath him, shuddering and moaning as I orgasm again, squeezing my pussy, milking his hard cock for every drop possible. He has my hands pressed against the mattress, squeezing my fingers tightly until I am still.  As my breath shudders and the waves subside, Tom fucks me harder, rising up on his knees and gripping my thighs hard for traction. Oh my god, I am going to split in two he is fucking me so hard, furious as if he has been holding it all in for the last few years and I almost cry. Not from pain but from the pure pleasure the pain brings me.

Tom’s breath quickens and his hands clutch me harder and I giggle knowing I will finally have his marks on my body. Finally. “Please, god oh god, please Tom, fuck my mouth. I so need to taste me on you and then taste you” in one fluid movement he is above me, kissing me, oh kissing him, how I miss kissing him “please, don’t make me beg Tom, please fuck my mouth” and suddenly my mouth is full of his cock, pushing in and out, touching the back of my throat making me whimper in want. Oh god yes, this, this is what I want. Tom is fucking my mouth with his cock and kneading my breasts with one hand and gripping my hair with another. Oh my fucking god yes is all that is running through my head as I tumble towards yet another orgasm and I am laid bare, vulnerable in front of this man I still trust implicitly.

I release his hips so I can grip the base of his cock and knead his balls, inhaling his scent , coaxing him to cum again if even just a little. I giggly happily when I hear his low growl through the sound of the blood pumping through my veins knowing I am about to be rewarded…

Sweaty, spent, satiated I lay back with him joining me, if even for a moment….