is me is really me

….touch. something in our internet chat very early this morning (my time) stayed with me, ok all of it stayed with me but a small comment found a spot in my brain and won’t shut up. it was something about june being our first “real time” and i realized that part of my anticipation is building upon me wanting to see you again, touch you again…i have this burning desire to memorize you and i know i want to have the chance to just take it all in…maybe it would play out something like this…

…my insomnia is at it’s peak during your visit, partly because it is your visit and i don’t want to miss a moment of you and partly because i have had insomnia in some form since i was a teenager…it’s late not wee early morning hours late but late enough that the hotel is quite, you’ve fallen asleep on your side and i am toying with going to my room or just watching you sleep for a while…without realizing i am doing it, i reach out to touch you, not wake you i just want to run my fingers feather-light all over you, i lean over you, and reach my fingers out starting on the back of your left hand ad sliding slowly up and over your wrist and your forearm, softly into the inside of your elbow and skimming over your triceps and god, to your shoulder where i linger a bit…with a contented sigh i skim along your shoulder to your neck and down to your collarbone, sliding my fingers along the fine ridge to your other shoulder running my fingers around your shoulder as lightly as i can before trailing them down to your left hand…you begin to stir and roll on to your back…mmm i grin as i realize i’m enjoying this time a bit more than i should and that friday is speeding towards us…shaking those thoughts away i lean closer and run my fingers down one side of your chest and back up the other, teasingly close to your nipple but not quite touching…it isn’t until i run my fingers back down the center of your chest to your stomach towards that sensitive areas close to your waistline when the sharp intake of your breath alerts me that you are awake, i don’t say anything, i don’t even look back at you..i merely want to touch you over and over again…my fingers begin their ascent again, feather light, never taking the same path…your arms, your shoulders…i shudder as i trail over your collarbone and up to your neck and your jawline…i look up to see that you are watching me, silent, a bit of an arch in your eyebrow…i giggle but don’t say anything, i just look away and return to what i was doing. i just keep ghosting my fingers all over you, down to your strong calves slowly back up to your shoulders and hands, god the things you can do with your hands…

…i love that i discovered sensitive spots on your body, hoping no one else before me made the same discovery or no one after me will enjoy it as much as i do at this moment…like that patch along your jawline that i can  kiss, suck and nuzzle for long, delicious moments…or that spot right in the middle of your chest, as if the indentation was made there just for me head to lay against…mmm or that area around your hips…sometimes i lightly scrape my nails where the pads of my fingers have just been and just as i get to that spot on your inner thigh that i love to nibble i touch so softly as if to memorize, tactically just how you feel…i can hear your breathing increase and yet both of us don’t speak, an occassional sigh, a groan, a giggle…god, i love exploring your body and as a shudder of unaldulterated lust runs through me, i lean up, letting my breasts and hard nipples straining through my tank-top lightly brush against you as i finally allow my mouth, my lips and my tongue follow the trails my fingers traced…

….i return to my exploration of your body and when i get to your shoulders i can’t help but break the silence…it’s with a low, quiet moan..”god, tom, i love your shoulders, they are strong, sure, sexy…i love the feel of them under my fingers, when my tongue runs across them…”…i lick a path from your shoulders to your collarbone all the way across as i find myself leaning over you…”shh..” i whisper against your mouth…”please, just let me take you in, let me show you how much i want to touch you and worship your body…” as i trail down your chest my nipples following suit…”no, don’t touch me…please we will… oh god, we will…but right now, right here, let me love you with my touch, my hands, my mouth…”…i can tell it takes great restraint for you and for me but you lay back and rest your head on a pillow and close your eys, your one hand lightly resting on my hip, drawing circles around and around as i continue….

…it takes all of my resolve to continue and not just straddle you, ride you…my fingers find that undeniably soft area around your thighs when i brush lightly over your cock it jumps which brings a fresh round of giggles from me and a blush with the realization that just by touching you i can get that reaction from you…but i didn’t take hold of you as you expected and you start to protest and lift your hips as if to will me back there…”shh, close your eyes…” i nudge your legs apart so i can position myself in between them…i lean forward, my breasts tight in my tank top rest lightly on your cock as i lean forward to lick you from the base of your cock all the way up to your jaw just stopping short of dipping my tongue into your mouth when it opens involuntarily in a silent moan…” i need to lick you again…” i whisper and lick i do, i’m salivating as i trail my tongue down your neck, along your shoulders and to your collarbone bring my mouth all the way down to the underside of your balls…going for another trip i detour over to your arms…”how i love the feel of your arms around me tom,  whether it’s a gentle touch or rough when you are holding my hips hard…” i say so so quietly as i run my lips and tongue from the inside of your wrist up the inside of your forearm to your bicep…”do you know when i am talking to you on the phone i imagine watching you working on your projects, building up a sweat, sleeves rolled up,seeing the muscles in your forearms, my pussy getting wetter…” with more wet kisses i blaze a new trail and find my way back to your chest and i stop to bite and suckle one of your nipples and then the other…breathlessly i whisper “i love your chest, i love the way it feels when you are behind me, pressed up against me as you lean down to kiss my neck or when you have fallen behind me after fucking me from behind…”…i bite and lick and kiss my way to the top of your hip bones and lick a trail from your inner thighs and back to your hip and i lean in and as i inhale deeply, my lips on your hip i say “god, you smell so good.”…

…”just thinking of you makes me wet tom, but when you are near me and i can smell you, my body literally quakes…”…your hands are now on my shoulders as i continue to nuzzle and lick you down around your torso and your thighs…rubbing my cheek against your cock i touch it, softly with my tongue, licking quickly and gently at the underside of it’s head my fingers tease and tickle your balls…”god, i want you to always want to fuck me…”…i look up and chuckle to see your eyes closed tightly, as if you need to stay in control, one hand in my hair and the other on my shoulder…running my hands up to your stomach i tickle you lightly and whisper against your shaft “tom, look at me”…and you do, your blue eyes are dark as i look up at you and whisper. “god help me but i love everything about your body…do you want to fuck my mouth or my pussy first?” and i grin as i pop the head of your throbbing cock in my mouth. “hmm?” i hum waiting for your answer…you pull me up, hard and kiss me thoroughly before pushing me backwards, rising up above me, i scoot back, my pussy overflowing and aching, knowing exactly how this is going to play out…