I’m on the road and one thing I try to do between flights from the comfort of the united lounge is catch up on blogs that I follow. so much has transpired at work, in family life, extended family and just every day life that posting has been minimal at best. when feeling overwhelmed, I tend to find comfort in reading what everyone else has to share on several topics. that said, one blogger that I thoroughly enjoy, admittedly usually for his sensual musing, has been posting thoughts and musings that leave me pondering. the one below is one such post from a week or so ago that’s been sitting in my drafts folder…
It resonated for many reasons but in particular, due to a recent marriage counseling session in which dh and I were both asked if we thought we would have dated/married one another knowing the challenges we have faced and are facing now? Intriguing and thought provoking to say the least (and for another post)…
picture source: bella
What if it’s not forever? Would you be prepared to go all in from the beginning if you knew that your perfect love wouldn’t last? Would you be able to love in a way you never imagined possible with your entire body, your full heart and to the depths of your soul? Would you fully appreciate being loved beyond anything you have or would ever experience again in this life? Would you bare all of your true feelings, secret desires and unrevealed fears without hesitation? Would you open up completely or would you keep some parts hidden just to protect yourself? Would you love the love of your life even if it had a limited lifespan? What would you do? Copyright © MyRedBike – Dirty thoughts of a clean mind
is me is really me 
Oh boy, oh boy, there she is again.
I don’t think there is a perfect love, certainly not one for everybody. In many ways, choosing a partner IS somewhat of a “settling” on that one person. My best friend from high school days (also was my maid of honor) chastised me on my wedding day for not waiting for Mr. Right to come along, for marrying the man that I did. Next year we’ll celebrate anniversary #25; she stayed single looking for Mr. Right for about as long as I’ve been married (I wonder if she eventually “settled;” don’t know, we haven’t talked in over 15 years. She didn’t like that I had been having a long-time affair, so she ended our friendship.).
Anyway, being married this long, I still keep parts of my being from my spouse. He doesn’t need to see inside all the nooks and crannies to know and love the me he sees. And I feel the same about him.
exactly. it was an interesting post from MyRedBike in that it’s thought provoking. Not that he doesn’t post musings in a similar vein as much as he typically posts fictional erotic musings. DH and I will celebrate our 25th on September 29th. We continue to work through all of the issues that have built up and presented themselves in the course of the last 25-years and like many that have commented here and on other posts, it isn’t as simple as I don’t love you and let’s call it quits and not just because children are involved. There is a shared history and identities that are intrinsically meshed as well as separate. I’m sorry that your high school bestie is now a former bestie, I still maintain that for as much remorse and regret that I have for having an affair, I was also a BS multiple times and having walked in both shoes, far be it from me to pass judgment on someone that loved in authenticity-regardless of the situation. thank you for posting and pre-congrats on your upcoming 25th!
I would tell the 25 year old Nephila to run for the hills and be single forever rather than be cheated on. She wouldn’t have listened. But we have this in common, she and I, we know it’s not real if it doesn’t last forever in some form. It was never real. The acceptance of the transitory is for people who are okay with cheating like yourself. People who are good and true don’t take the transitory when they have a choice. We have higher standards.
Self-righteous much? And you have the nerve to call other people bullies. You’re not trying to convince anyone but yourself, so why are you here except to bully and insult people you don’t agree with?
Nephila, you are a far better and self-actualized person than I. brava.