Ok, ok. So it’s not a real word, yet, at least not according to Merriam-Webster or the folks at the Oxford dictionary, but it should be. Or at the very least, added to the “meeting b-i-n-g-o” cards that circulate around the office now and again.
We all have that one person in our lives, personally or professionally. Come on, admit it you do. I am currently dealing with two such people on my new work team. They literally send mail to the larger team of 32 and ask for advice over every little aspect of the project they are responsible for. And when they don’t take our advice and something goes wrong, they can’t understand how that happens.
I was out on mandatory sick leave for the last little bit and I’m catching up on work, trying to clean out my inbox ahead of the work week beginning tomorrow, and there it is. A woe is me soliloquy from the team member, sent to a distribution list of over 100 people including 4 VP’s and several other executives asking for advice. Forget the email etiquette: 1) think before you hit send 2) limit distribution and 3) check for spelling & grammatical errors…it was the ps: that got me. As in PS: I promise folks, this time I will listen to any advice given.
OOF.
is me is really me 
Technically, they’ve given themselves an escape clause: they only said “listen.”
This person is actually a dream come true. You can tell them any old thing, from dangerously idiotic to downright meme-producing in its stupidity, and have no fear of any of it ever coming to pass. Even if they executed it in its entirety, you are still not legally culpable in any way.
Besides, if they actually do it and experience humorous pain and suffering : touche. Not only have to paid them back, but they will never approach you for advice again. Done and done.
Suggestions of one-size-fits-all advice:
Sriracha enema
Voodoo cult weekend getaway
Changing license plate to ADDVISE
Kale toothpaste
Embracing Satan as Lord and Master
Sexting Mitch McConnell using real name
Whipped Cream Vodka cleanse
Put last week’s panties and socks on Ebay
Growing hydroponic peyote in bathroom
Shaving pets and stuffing decorator pillows with it
USB port suppositories
Licking newsprint
Stuffed animal porn