3 comments on “Choices, Decisions, and Triggers! Oh My!

  1. I don’t know your whole story (some are password protected) so I don’t want to judge or make incorrect assumptions. But for me, I am still in a (bad) marriage. I stay because of my kids, my culture, consequences I am not ready to accept. Its affected me tremendously- mentally and physically. I do applaud and commend all the women who have chosen to leave for a better path in life. To me, they are very strong, courageous, and brave. 🙂

  2. I don’t think people realize nowadays marriage is not something you just throw away. If it doesn’t work and you have tried everything then of course, don’t remain unhappy, divorce. Marriage isn’t always easy, sometimes it downright sucks. I’ve been married 13 years this month, we’ve been together 18 years. I was 13 years old when we got together. It wasn’t worth throwing away.

  3. Years ago DH and I went through a really bad patch and I was ready, so READY to just throw in the towel and walk away. My counselor at the time told me that leaving and starting over is the easiest choice, one I was contemplating from a place of fatigue, weakness, and fear. Staying there, hanging in, excavating and exploring and facing the issues and fears that made the relationship falter and fail takes greater courage and assumes greater risk, because there is only the vague potential of equal rewards that would come with repairing the relationship. While at first I was completely infuriated – how dare he describe me as weak and fearful and tired – only to recognize that I was looking for the exit because it is my habit to run from personal issues I found too painful to broach by myself, alone, much less in the company of others. For me it worked out well, but it is not always that way for every couple. That said, I do not personally know anyone who has not gained something from counseling and doing the hard work associated with addressing issues related to mental and emotional health. The journey is deeply personal, and only you and your DH know what benefits come from doing this work right now, together and separately. Stay strong and keep your focus on the elusive prize you are seeking, believe that it will come into view much more precisely when you are ready to really see it.

thoughts and comments

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