I gather strength from the bloggers I follow here. They are amazing people going through their own journey’s and putting themselves out there for all to see.
Darling husband is understandably angry, and yet, cannot understand my desires, or wants or needs. I am heartbroken. I should be heartbroken at the state of dh and me. But I am not. The hard conversations that we are having are one’s that we should have had years ago. We should have addressed way back then. Instead, I have some residual anger that it took this, my own duplicity, my relationship with “him” to have darling husband take stock. DH wants us to go back to the way it was before him, but how can that be?
He, to be so close to our reunion after 22-weeks and then to turn around and barely make a flight home. To not know if he is going to delve into self-protection mode as I fully expect leaves me saddened. My husband got his “goodbye” and his closure twelve years ago when he ended his affair with “the one that got away”…will I get mine? So many things tumbling about my head. My heart.
is me is really me 
Wow! Do what is right for you! Go for it! I mean that all sincerity! Go for it! Give yourself permission to go after your heart’s desire! You have nothing to lose. xo