11 comments on “In case I haven’t been clear: I am not innocent. I am a cheater.

  1. You are your actions. So you are your affair. I am my actions and I am happy with that. If you have to be a saint to judge evil then how is it we were able to prosecute war crimes? Another try, grasping at straws. You have done a terrible thing and it does define you. Doesn’t matter how much you give to charity. My (unlike you) deeply remorseful husband agrees. He will always be defined by his affair to me, and to himself. That’s his burden, he brought it on himself and he has way more grace than to whine about it like you do. Imagine – you kill someone and then you whine that you have a criminal record and are in jail. Seriously, the cheek of that is hilarious.

    • it is hilarious. I am deeply remorseful. DH and I have made some very hard decisions based on complete transparency as of late. I am not saying what I’ve done isn’t terrible, not at all. It wasn’t just terrible, it’s selfish and has hurt many people, people that don’t know about it on the other side but still takes away from them in some respect. In the same vein, the lone affair I have engaged in is just a single thing I am remorseful for. I have many, and not because I’ve been caught but because those things were mistakes in of themselves. I am defined by each and every one of those things. Just as each and every one of the actions and behaviors that are not one’s to be remorseful for. I could post about how I’m remorseful and how I work to show my dh that remorse, but I don’t. Nephila, I applaud you for being so grounded in your goodness and truth. Paul is blessed to have a wife that stands by her convictions and has been able to see him demonstrate his remorse. You are correct, he goes by the grace of God. Thanks for commenting as always.

  2. An affair is something you have, something you do…it is never who you are. In this country we make infidelity out be such a huge moral crime…monogamy is something we learn. Biologically, we are not monogamous animals though. However, many cultures require monogamy for inheritance reasons to make sure the proper offspring (paternity is ensured) inherit land, money, etc…However, it is learned. In other cultures where affairs are the norm and out in the open, affairs actually boost marital satisfaction rates. Think about it, if you knew your spouse would stray, expected it and didn’t believe it has to be the end of a marriage, wouldn’t that take a lot of the sting out of infidelity…like betrayal, lies, feeling that something was done behind your back to you, etc… You’re a great person!

  3. Let he with no sins cast the first stone… there isn’t an innocent one among us, either here on WP or out in society. We are just writing new rules for society’s handbook… LOL

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