14 comments on “Karma has a wicked sense of humor, one I appreciate. Anything less would be foolish.

  1. Deep emotions are like wild forest fires. They destroy all in their wake until they finally die after having consumed everything in their path. But even years later the embers are still active underground. You don’t need anything to disturb them and bring them back to the surface.

  2. Wow. I’m not sure what I would do in your situation! You are a different person now, and so is your husband. There is something that has held the two of you together all this time – and love comes in different forms. You are also a very strong person and I am sure you could handle it. Good luck with your decision!

  3. Of course you’re calm- after all you’ve got zero reason to complain about his affair because you’re just like him. So go or don’t go, but playing the betrayed spouse does not ring true. If it hurt you so much you’d have never done it to someone else. And no, not everyone deserves to be happy. What you deserve is the pain you inflicted. Unfortunately you’re incapable of feeling that so I guess we will all have to be patient.

    • Oh I’m not calm but I am not playing the betrayed spouse card. I’ve been there, done that. I was just surprised by J’s picture and how the memories came back. You have no idea what that pain was or how it manifested but you are correct, I deserve everything that I am paying right now for the horrible thing I’ve done. I’ve never said I didn’t. Yes, my dh and I are the same in that regard. We are different people in many other ways as well. While I still haven’t decided if I will accept the invitation, I appreciate your input.

  4. I am left speechless. I am just amazed in your calmness on your post. However, you will find the right answer within yourself to decided what is best for you. Even though it brought out feelings of seeing the name and pictures, life has changed for you and your husband.

    • I know right?! The weird thing is the feelings were more surreal. It didn’t gut me as much as it made me sad to remember those moments. D-day and then the 9-months following in which DH actively worked with and was seeing her until the day we were to file for legal separation and he couldn’t do it. So much as happened in the last 13 years, I’m a different person (duh! I now have cheated myself, albeit 11-years later), dh is a different person. It was actually those memories that started me on this path five years ago when I started questioning whether or not I did the right thing by trying to fight for my marriage. Was DH happy? He certainly wasn’t acting like it. Did I keep him from true happiness and therefore my own happiness in my selfishness all of those years ago? I don’t know. It’s a might crazy world. But enough about me. How are you? How is your friend? Grieving is hard enough, let alone when it’s an unexpected and shocking loss. I’ve been thinking about you.

      • I totally just think that you shouldn’t even have to worry about thinking about those feelings again even if it was surreal! Emotions surface at the strangest of times. Thanks for thinking of me, I’m hanging in there.

  5. My heart did a flip when I read this. Not a good flip, but the kind that is followed by a dull ache in the pit of your stomach. I’m sorry. I know that wasn’t easy to see. Affairs are often fueled by the fiery love that can’t be sustained in a marriage that is riddled with every day problems, bills, kids, sickness, etc…This trip might be a good opportunity to face those demons from his past affair and put them behind you once and for all. Thinking of you! Hope you are doing well! (((Hugs)))

    • Thanks. Weird huh? As I was telling M above, the thing is, I thought I was over that. Truly. It’s been so long and we’ve moved through so much I was just as surprised at the rush of memories. It made for an interesting marriage counseling session for both of us and a personal therapy session for me O.O
      Thank you for commenting, I have been thinking of you and your strength on your own journey {{hugs right on back}}

      • Some wounds never fully heal…and it’s ok if they don’t. The courage is learning to live with those wounds and still thrive in spite of them which you have demonstrated beautifully. Never give someone else your light though, you are too beautiful. You mentioned you weren’t sure if you should stay…if you are staying for dh I am not sure that is best for you. Be strong. I have missed our comments. I am glad you are doing well. And just because it has been awhile…More (((hugs))) 🙂

    • LOL. Ok in all fairness, that’s the post I published…*after* the WTF?! rant at home and again in marriage counseling 😉 though I really did calmly hand him the invitation and complimented dh on how good he looked at that moment. {hugs back at you}

      • Thank you!!! Now, this makes me feel so much better because I KNOW I would have gone off. You’re an extraordinary person — and it is clear to everyone that reads the end of your post!!!!

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