it was just a dream i said to myself. but the tears on my pillow are very real.
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of all of the things that keep me up at night (and believe me when i say there are plenty) the most worrisome, even more so than money & financial concerns, is whether or not my kids will be happy, thriving, kind, thoughtful and contributing adults. especially my youngest as a person living with autism.
i could go on and on about why his future leaves me fearful and determined to be a healthy and active parent for as long as i can be, but i won’t. i don’t need to.
truthfully on some days it’s easier for me to recall “not my proudest moments” LOL
and again, I must be dating myself by repeating myself:
as one that subscribes to the “life is a series of moments” philosophy, there are several moments in time that stand out. personally, professionally, as a parent, a friend etc.
hmm for this post i will go with a professional moment. for context:
- i work for a large software company that’s based on the west coast of the united states but certainly has a global presence in some regard. i have my day job, my career and as a subset of that work, sometimes i am asked by other organizations within the company to take on a “client”. an individual that requires coaching and development. if and when i do these things it’s on a volunteer basis, an inexpensive way to provide coaching for an up & coming executive and a development opportunity for someone in my role to “flex” their organizational design and coaching skills.
- 13-months ago i was approached by one of our entertainment divisions to work with one of their senior directors. a person, i would come to find out 6-months later, had already gone through 3 other internal coaches all ending because he refused to work with them after a month or so. why not? i’m a glutton for punishment *and* i love a challenge. and what a challenge it’s been and i completely understand why my colleagues were more than happy to walk away. but i didn’t, mostly because not only do i enjoy a challenge but because i saw in him exactly what his vp was hoping i could flush out.
the moment?
- about 6-weeks ago i unexpectedly received an email from his vp letting me know they were promoting the person i’ve been working with and it’s largely due to the work we’ve been doing together and because of the communication foundation i designed and implemented within his org.
i couldn’t have been prouder for this person, for being open to work with me when he was so adamant that it would be a waste of time, and for not only doing the work but really weaving it into his daily interactions and communication. it’s moments like these, a simple email that validates my work, that make me proud.
this question always throws me because i tend to make decisions based on circumstances, information i have and scenarios. my dream job(s) changes based on where i’m at in my life or my interests. certain components don’t change yet the job description might. as long as i’m able to:
- autonomy to come and go given the needs of my family but my son in particular
- have the time to volunteer and give back in a meaningful way
- believe in the goals of the company and or leader of said company
- the freedom to be authentic
- able to laugh and have fun
then i can adapt and be thankful and successful in whatever the job may be.
he recently shared this quote with me…” if a strong woman is not submissive, it is not because she is unable to submit. rather, she needs a man with the ability to create a safe place within her heart and mind for her to fall to her knees” (unknown)
I recognized the truth in them.
in my daily, every day real life, i am the picture of a typical “a” type personality. strong, determined, assertive, in control, engaged, team driver, team player, leader, subject matter expert, collaborator, decision maker- are the words that pepper my annual performance reviews and feedback from clients and colleagues. and yet from the moment i met him i felt safe and trusted him implicitly. enough to let down my guard…
talk about a post that resonates….
- i’m a bona fide pluviophile
- i’m on the board of directors for two local youth focused philanthropies
- one of my children has autism and as difficult as it is in all aspects of my life, he is the light of my life
- i’m a voracious reader
- i believe that as a parent my job is to be a parent and not a friend
- in what seems like another life so long ago, i used to work for a professional basketball team within the nba
- i think traveling alone is good for the soul
- i cry every day
- i eat a pint of fresh raspberries every day. every. day.
- giving back to the community in which we live, work and play is tantamount
- i wear my geek girl/fan girl badges with pride
- i miss him. his voice. his touch. his scent. his taste. every day in between the rare moments we get.
- my soul is inexplicably tethered to London
- soccer isn’t just a beautiful game it’s a way of life
- i prefer cold weather to warm weather
- i “fell” into my career 17-years ago and haven’t looked back.
- i’ve never been told “i love you” first
- i have cancer
- i own too many converse chucks and too many black boots
- i’m blessed









