you know, it’s hard for me to transition back into my real every day life when i don’t know when i am going to see him again. in real life, in person, in the same breathing space. these past few months the transition really was much easier. but now it’s been a few months since we’ve seen each other in real life and the holidays are tough. to get time to interact even virtually, as expected as we are both in marriages with children, family obligations etc. I get it.

just because i get it doesn’t mean it doesn’t twinge. just because we do not talk about changing our situation or ever loving each outside of the mutual admiration society we have, doesn’t mean that i don’t miss him or have an ache around what we are.

just some musings…