and the prognosis has changed yet again. don’t get me wrong – the team of doctor’s, specialists and all support folks are the best. truly. but (yes-there’s always a *but*) i admit it gets frustrating when the diagnosis takes such a long time due to complexities or not fitting a specific profile and yes, when the prognosis changes with what seems to be the wind. frankly, i’m tired. mentally. physically. emotionally. and yet all one can do is look each day in the face and keep moving. no matter how long or short the journey to the end may be.
the long awaited surgery was yesterday. and now the long wait for results from pathology. it turns out there were 6 masses (I think it’s interesting that they don’t call them tumors but “masses”) instead of 5 and when it was all said and done it was about 10-lbs. pain meds mess me up and let me tell you, the road my mind wanders when I am on pain meds, isn’t always fun but man I feel like I have been hit by a truck. and the bruises that I can see are hideous, seriously. I can’t take the compression suit off until my suture check on Monday afternoon but at this rate, all I want to do is sleep. and read blogs. and tumble. and think of him.
He’s worried about me. Sending me emails, calling when he doesn’t normally, making sure I’m hydrating, resting, eating. Saying he wishes he were here to comfort me and kiss the bruises. No. I’m glad he’s not, because I wouldn’t be able to resist and in no way do I want anyone to see these bruises, or the sutures or me. ugh.
Darling husband is being decent. Pretty much leaving me alone and not complaining too much when I ask for water. He isn’t thrilled that I won’t be back on my feet right away, and may have to handle all of the kids stuff for a few days, but I get that it’s an inconvenience. Ok on meds and clearly I’m rambling something silly.