i was walking past the living room this evening as my sister was watching a television show and i heard one contestant say: “well, i guess a few years ago, i decided i deserved to be seen.” and she went on to explain that she’s spent her life feeling invisible, especially the last few years, after an illness raising her kids and her statements stopped me in my tracks.
she didn’t talk about feeling taken for granted. it wasn’t that. it was the simplicity of “i decided i deserved to be seen.” there wasn’t a specificity as to “where” she deserved to be seen, i.e. work, community, family, personal relationships, it was simply to be seen.
her honesty in that moment. beautiful.
is me is really me 
I left my husband when I decided I deserved to be heard. I had suffered 15 years of not being heard and I was done. “Being seen” is another good way of saying that. It was not like I didn’t speak up but he refused or was unable to hear me. After my diagnosis he was deaf to me entirely. Rather sad.
amazingly sad isn’t it? not only that it happens but that it’s frequent in so many relationships.
I have been working/researching the concept of connection and found the following link very profound in the importance of connection and what it really involves …. being heard and seen is a crucial aspect of it …. Brene Brown speaks about it with clarity and self deprecating humor … please watch this
oh I love brene! she was our key note speaker at a corporate conference 3.5 years ago and I’ve devoured her work since then. I hate to say it, (but bring it on haters), when she first got on stage, we in the audience weren’t sure how she “fit” into what our conference was about etc. by the time she finished (vulnerability, shame, imperfection etc) you could hear a pin drop and the occasional sniffle here and there amongst the 1200 attendees. it was electrifying and terrifying all at the same time. Many of us bowed our heads and wept. openly. to say it was the catalyst for the journey I found myself on isn’t too far from the truth. I’m thrilled you found her as well. I should be in your town next month-i’ll send mail 😀
I owe all the work I have been doing to Brene….she has rocked my being to the core….excited to hear from you would love to meet for lunch….just let me know
What an interesting thing for her to say. I don’t think I’ve ever heard any one say it, but it makes a lot of sense. I say just do it! Feel it! Be it!