distance may indeed be a good governor, but it’s a crappy thing for someone like myself that thrives on connection and communication. even more so when we can’t interact freely and the intervals between our next time together is so great. this current separation is the longest yet. if indeed i travel as planned to a conference i’m attending on the east cost, it will have been 21 weeks since we were last together in real life. that is almost half a year!
i’m heartsick at the thought of not being able to travel. the surgery to remove the tumors was on 12/27 for all intents and purposes it was a success in terms of removal. however on thursday i learned they are malignant with a less than average prognosis. i start treatment tomorrow and there is a very real possibility i will be “grounded” depending on how my body reacts.
he insists i do whatever i need to do to fight this, even if it means delaying travel plans and that he will find a way to visit clients and customers out this way instead. and this is where my over thinking and self doubt comes in. will he? would he really find a way to come and see me if i can’t travel? crazy as it seems, i need to know this-it makes facing treatment that much easier.