while he doesn’t how to find this blog, he does lurk anonymously on my nsfw secret identity tumblr. i’m never sure if he follows everyday or some days but he definitely mentions specific tumbles. being in a long distance relationship is difficult to be sure, though when it is not a “secret” one can call, text or generally reach out to one another whenever they want. not so when it is an affair. ever. but especially during non-work hours or events. weekends, evenings after 5:30, holidays etc. ironically, as much as i long to see him, enjoy a meal with him and be able to reach out and touch his beard-the cadence of long distance works for our mutually, over-scheduled lives. I’ve posted before about his ability to compartmentalize and hyper focus with no communication for days and even weeks at a time was problematic for me. And how my ability to blend and my need for connection on a daily basis made him nervous and our first six months was a lesson in pushing through communication and giving one another space to find a way to meet in the proverbial middle. and what a long way we’ve come…

as i was restricted to limited mobility due to my surgery, i spent a good part of new years eve whiling away on line and napping. i reblogged this picture on tumblr:

i knew he was out with his bride and some friends at their local watering hole and with our time difference, the conversation i had with him earlier in the morning would be the last until we returned to work on 1/2. instead, at 10:12pm (pdt) new year’s eve i received this email…

 I Wish….