so earlier today I received the final treatment in this current round of chemo sessions. it’s a surreal feeling as if it was just yesterday and at the same time feeling as if this has been one long battle. and frankly, it’s not over. not yet. now is the wait and see. there are more labs to get done and scans to look in every nook and cranny *sigh*
and of course, I anxiously await word as to whether or not i’ll be cleared to travel in a weeks time. now, it’s wait and see. 
these last several weeks have been challenging on so many fronts. the least of which is the lack of personal time, especially with the short stint in the hospital, the schedules of the kids and major project work at the office. i haven’t been able to catch up on the blogs i follow and i miss each and every one of you. dh and i continue in marriage counseling with baby steps forward and baby steps back. and him. i miss him. i miss me.
listening to music and pausing when something strikes a chord. too many to post here as i can only access from work at the moment. but someone down the hall was playing this song and i couldn’t resist the indulgence. taking 90-seconds to breathe deeply just for myself.
wishing everyone a fabulous friday
there’s always a light near the end of the tunnel. isn’t there?
“turns out that when you catch a cold and develop laryngitis whilst going through chemotherapy, there’s a likely chance you’ll get really sick. so take care” words the cashier at the local bartell’s said to me…8-days on, no relief and another chemo session in a few days. haven’t been blogging (duh) or reading but will be back and look forward to catching up on all you bloggers i follow. soon.
that is all.
during counseling today i was stunned into silence when the counselor looked at me, then at darling husband, back at me before turning to face darling husband and said “you can’t fault her for finally choosing herself when she has always put you first. always. her choice, whether right or wrong, was still her choice and you chose to ignore her for so long that to raise an objection now is your issue. not hers. we are here to deal with each of these separately as they impact your relationship. but until you can see, not agree, but see things from her perspective, you won’t move forward.” huh…still processing.
interesting and true. at least for my state currently. between chemo treatments, marriage counseling, new treatments for our son with special needs and my connection with “him” limited, job offers and some of the philanthropic work i’m involved with having their annual fundraising events it feels like i’m in the middle of a massive convergence of everything with little time for myself.
just need to take a breath and pause. for a moment. who’s with me?
